
tell us! tell us!
So me and three friends were driving from Anchorage to Atlanta back in '84. We had grown bored with everything west of the Mississippi so we decided to drive non-stop from Flagstaff to Memphis. We got there at 0630 on a Sunday morning, and there were already people lined up at Graceland.
We got tickets to the first tour.
As we were waiting in the foyer, my roommate kept saying (in his best Elvis voice) "Where are all the jelly doughnuts. I need a doughnut. Somebody make me a fried banana sandwich.
The stares began at that point.
As we walked through the Jungle Room, the guide explained that Elvis had decorated the room himself. My roommate said, "shows ya what a guy with a lot of money and no taste can do to a perfectly good house."
The stares became glares.
Next up was the hall of mirrors. As we were standing in the hall listening to the guide, Tom (the roomy) said, "Lord knows if my a$$ was as big as Elvis' I wouldn't want to look at it in three banks of mirrors every time I walked through here."
At that point he drew the attention of the guide who asked him to keep his comments to himself.
Before we could get out of there one of the other guys in my group tapped Tom and asked, "You do know how he died, right? He died while he was sitting on the John upstairs."
The fuse was lit!
Tom's hand shot up.
The guide said, "Yes?"
Tom asked, "Can we go upstairs?"
The guide explained that upstairs was private family space and was closed off to the public. She then asked why he wanted to go up there.
Tom replied, "I want to see the toilet where Elvis went twice at the same time!"
KA-BOOM!!!
We were asked to leave at that point.
They didn't even give us a refund!
