What was St. Patrick the saint of ?
Um, the patron saint of Ireland?
Am having a spectacularly dull St Paddy's Day, but after the drunken blow-out of 2006, maybe it's just as well I lay low this year.
A couple jokes :
Imagine yer favorite Irish accent, lads and lassies.
Lad, please get me 239 beans from the cupboard and not one more. I need to make yer favorite bean soup.
239 beans exactly? Why 239 exactly?
Ah, Lad...because one more would be too farty
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"Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose woman."
The priest asks, "Is that you, little Tommy Shaughnessy?"
"Yes, Father, it is."
"And who was the woman you were with?"
"Sure and I can't be telling you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation."
"Well, Tommy, I'm sure to find out sooner or later, so you may as well tell me now. Was it Brenda O'Malley?"
"I cannot say."
"Was it Patricia Kelly?"
"I'll never tell."
"Was it Liz Shannon?"
"I'm sorry, but I'll not name her."
"Was it Cathy Morgan?"
"My lips are sealed."
"Was it Fiona McDonald, then?"
"Please, Father, I cannot tell you."
The priest sighs in frustration. "You're a steadfast lad, Tommy Shaughnessy, and I admire that. But you've sinned, and you must atone. You cannot attend church for three months. Be off with you now."
Tommy walks back to his pew. His friend Sean slides over and whispers, "What'd you get?"
"Three month's vacation and five good leads!" says Tommy.
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A guy dies and goes to Heaven. He meets up with a old dead friend who offers to give him a tour.
While on the tour the guy sees Elvis.
"That's Elvis! OMG, that's actually Elvis! Oh and over there that's John Lennon and Jimi Hendrix jamming. Wow this place is going to be great"
They turn another corner and the recently dead guy squeels "OMG, there's Bono. I love U2....hey hold on Bono isn't dead, what gives?"
His mate answers "Ah, that's God. He just thinks he's Bono."
And his day is one of my favorites...kind of kicks off the crawfish season and forces people to have fun. By the way, any celebrations in SOWAL today?
