"How Many...." Jokes - I'll Start

[RiverOtter]

How many Funns does it take to screw in a light bulb?
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5
1 to make a suggestion
1 to ask someone else to do it
1 to start making wise cracks about it
2 to make dirty jokes about it


How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
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Lets go ride bikes

 

[Hop]

How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
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Lets go ride bikes

:clap_1: that's me

 

[audie]

the only jokes like this i know are too offensive to put on this board.....

 

[Mermaid]

Curtesy of Merman the Engineer:

How many second year engineering students does it take to change a light bulb? One, but the rest of the class copies the report.

How many third year engineering students does it take to change a light bulb? ?Will this question be on the final exam??

How many civil engineers does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to do it and one to steady the chandelier.

How many electrical engineers does it take to change a light bulb? None. They simply redefine darkness as the industry standard.

How many computer engineers does it take to change a light bulb? ?Why bother? The socket will be obsolete in six months anyway.?

How many mechanical engineers does it take to change a light bulb? Five. One to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, one to calculate the force required, one to design a tool with which to turn the bulb, one to design a comfortable-but functional- hand grip, and one to use all this equipment.

How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb? Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one.

Take a wild guess as to what kind of engineer I married.

 

[RiverOtter]

How many third year engineering students does it take to change a light bulb? ?Will this question be on the final exam??

 

[Beachbummette]

How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
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Lets go ride bikes[/QUOTE]

They say I have ADD...but I don't know....Oh look a chicken.....

 

[Mermaid]

For all you dog lovers out there ... How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb?

• Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb?
• Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.
• Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!
• Rottweiler: Make me.
• Lab: Oh, me, me!!!! Pleeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I?
• Malamute: Let the Border Collie do it. You can feed me while he's busy.
• Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls and furniture.
• Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.
• Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.
• Doberman Pinscher: While it's dark, I'm going to sleep on the couch.
• Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.......
• Mastiff: Mastiffs are NOT afraid of the dark.
• Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb.
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  Irish Wolfhound: Can somebody else do it? I've got this hangover.....
• Pointer: I see it, there it is, there it is, right there....
• Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares?
• Australian Shepherd: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle....
• Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? That thing I just ate was a light bulb?
• Westie: Dogs do not change light bulbs. People change light bulbs, I am not one of THEM, so the question is: how long will it be before I can expect my light?
• Hound Dog: ZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzz

 

[DD]

These are so right on. Especially about Labs.

 

[Ocean Lover]

Love the doggies. I didn't realize Stacy (our poodle) and I were so much alike.

 

[potatovixen]

Since I am a 'band geek':

Q: How many saxophone players does it take to change a light bulb?
A: three. One to change the bulb, and two to make jokes about "screwing light bulbs."

Q: How many trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?
A: All of them. One changes the bulb and the rest brag about how much better they could've done it.

Q: How many trombonists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One, but he'll do it too loudly.

Q: How many French horn players does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Just one, but he'll spend two hours checking the bulb for alignment and leaks.

Q: How many tuba players does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Three. One to hold the bulb and two to drink till the room spins.

Q: How many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A1: "Why? Oh, wow! Is it like dark, man?"
A2: Only one, but he'll break ten bulbs before figuring out that they can't just be pushed in.
A3: None. They have a machine that can do that now.