30gAy
Beach Fanatic
The Walton Funn, January 5 2007
Real Estate Pharmaceuticals
Two unrelated sectors of the national economy expanded rapidly over the past decade. Real Estate and the Pharmaceutical Industry. Now both industries are facing a slump. The Real Estate bubble has burst, and Pharmaceuticals have been hurt by a series of recalls of drugs such as Vioxx.
Now, some clever players in both industries have found a way to combine their energies to mutual benefit. A conglomeration of the nation?s leading RE and Drug companies has announced plans to test and market RE-Drugs (short for Real Estate Drugs).
South Walton, the site of much anxiety over the local real estate market, was chosen as a test site for these new drugs. Lead researcher Dr. Hoestein said, ?We felt that this place was perfect after we checked the Real Estate Board on SoWal.com ?talk about fired up people!! It is like the Jerry Springer of RE boards.?
Test volunteers were given RE-Prozac. Poster OysterLakeStew was typical of those selected.
Quote: OysterLakeStew from April, before taking RE-Prozac:
?I?m a Harvard educated economist and I can tell you that short of Dr. Frankenstein ?no one is going to bring back this RE market from the dead. If you disagree, pm me your address so I can come over and shove my market analysis, tax bill, insurance rate, adjustable rate mortgage, and rising hurricane activity up your *ss.?
Quote: OysterLakeStew from November, after taking RE-Prozac:
?Wow, isn?t the water pretty today? Just think, it?s the same gulf as you see from Naples and yet priced 50% below. I?ll take 2 beachfront lots please.?
Local realtor Jeannette Shields is excited about the results. ?Happy people buy homes! Pissy people don?t buy anything?.well except maybe booze.?
Others see a market for RE-Viagra, which could help inflate sagging sales prices and Re-Botox to improve the appeal of older homes.
Dr. Hoestein went on to explain that while results were promising, ?It is not conclusive. It?s possible that everyone was just smoking RE-Crack.?
In a related story, representatives from the nation?s leading Adjustable rate Mortgage Lenders will be working with Distillers on a ?Make it a Double? ad campaign. In the ads, happy homeowners down double shots of tequila while writing a check for their double digit ARM payment.
Real Estate Pharmaceuticals
Two unrelated sectors of the national economy expanded rapidly over the past decade. Real Estate and the Pharmaceutical Industry. Now both industries are facing a slump. The Real Estate bubble has burst, and Pharmaceuticals have been hurt by a series of recalls of drugs such as Vioxx.
Now, some clever players in both industries have found a way to combine their energies to mutual benefit. A conglomeration of the nation?s leading RE and Drug companies has announced plans to test and market RE-Drugs (short for Real Estate Drugs).
South Walton, the site of much anxiety over the local real estate market, was chosen as a test site for these new drugs. Lead researcher Dr. Hoestein said, ?We felt that this place was perfect after we checked the Real Estate Board on SoWal.com ?talk about fired up people!! It is like the Jerry Springer of RE boards.?
Test volunteers were given RE-Prozac. Poster OysterLakeStew was typical of those selected.
Quote: OysterLakeStew from April, before taking RE-Prozac:
?I?m a Harvard educated economist and I can tell you that short of Dr. Frankenstein ?no one is going to bring back this RE market from the dead. If you disagree, pm me your address so I can come over and shove my market analysis, tax bill, insurance rate, adjustable rate mortgage, and rising hurricane activity up your *ss.?
Quote: OysterLakeStew from November, after taking RE-Prozac:
?Wow, isn?t the water pretty today? Just think, it?s the same gulf as you see from Naples and yet priced 50% below. I?ll take 2 beachfront lots please.?
Local realtor Jeannette Shields is excited about the results. ?Happy people buy homes! Pissy people don?t buy anything?.well except maybe booze.?
Others see a market for RE-Viagra, which could help inflate sagging sales prices and Re-Botox to improve the appeal of older homes.
Dr. Hoestein went on to explain that while results were promising, ?It is not conclusive. It?s possible that everyone was just smoking RE-Crack.?
In a related story, representatives from the nation?s leading Adjustable rate Mortgage Lenders will be working with Distillers on a ?Make it a Double? ad campaign. In the ads, happy homeowners down double shots of tequila while writing a check for their double digit ARM payment.
you.
