kathydwells
Darlene is my middle name, not my nickname
SOUTHERN HUMOR - YOU GOTTA LOVE IT!
Kentucky :
The owner of a golf course in Kentucky was confused about paying an
invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help .
He called her into his office and said, "You graduated from the
University of Kentucky and I need some help. If I were to give you
$20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?"
The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, "Everything but my
earrings."
You gotta love those Kentucky women.
*********************************************
Alabama :
A group of Alabama friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos
for the day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering
under the weight of an eight-point buck.
"Where's Henry?" the others asked..
"Henry had a stroke of some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the
trail," the successful hunter replied.
"You left Henry laying out there and carried the deer back?" they inquired.
"A tough call," nodded the hunter. "But I figured no one is going to
steal Henry!"
****************************************************************
Mississippi :
The young man from Mississippi came running into the store and said to
his buddy, "Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the
parking lot!"
Bubba replied, "Did you see who it was?
The young man answered, "I couldn't tell, but I got the license number."
****************************************************************
Tennessee :
A Tennessee State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-65. The trooper
asked, "Got any ID?"
The driver replied, "Bout whut?"
*****************************************************************
And My Favorite:
A man in North Carolina had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the
road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car
and one behind it. Then he got back in the car to wait.
A passerby studied the scene as he drove by and was so curious he
turned around and went back. He asked the fellow what the problem was.
The man replied, "I have a flat tire."
The passerby asked, "But what's with the flowers?"
The man responded, "When you break down they tell you to put flares in
the front and flares in the back! I never did understand it neither."
Kentucky :
The owner of a golf course in Kentucky was confused about paying an
invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help .
He called her into his office and said, "You graduated from the
University of Kentucky and I need some help. If I were to give you
$20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?"
The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, "Everything but my
earrings."
You gotta love those Kentucky women.
*********************************************
Alabama :
A group of Alabama friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos
for the day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering
under the weight of an eight-point buck.
"Where's Henry?" the others asked..
"Henry had a stroke of some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the
trail," the successful hunter replied.
"You left Henry laying out there and carried the deer back?" they inquired.
"A tough call," nodded the hunter. "But I figured no one is going to
steal Henry!"
****************************************************************
Mississippi :
The young man from Mississippi came running into the store and said to
his buddy, "Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the
parking lot!"
Bubba replied, "Did you see who it was?
The young man answered, "I couldn't tell, but I got the license number."
****************************************************************
Tennessee :
A Tennessee State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-65. The trooper
asked, "Got any ID?"
The driver replied, "Bout whut?"
*****************************************************************
And My Favorite:
A man in North Carolina had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the
road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car
and one behind it. Then he got back in the car to wait.
A passerby studied the scene as he drove by and was so curious he
turned around and went back. He asked the fellow what the problem was.
The man replied, "I have a flat tire."
The passerby asked, "But what's with the flowers?"
The man responded, "When you break down they tell you to put flares in
the front and flares in the back! I never did understand it neither."
Got an any ID? flares!
You are just bad Darlene. You know what they say about Kentucky. "Kentucky is the home of fast horses and pretty women" or is it "pretty horses and fast women." :scratch: ;-)
