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Sunday Funny - Little Johnny

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A guy sees a sign in front of a house: ?Talking Dog For Sale." He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a Labrador retriever sitting there. ?You talk?" he asks. "Yep," the Lab replies.
"So, what's your story?"
The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA about my gift and in no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of
their most valuable spies for eight years running. But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals. I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired."
The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog. "Ten dollars," the guy says.
"Ten dollars?? This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?"

"Because he's a liar. He never did any of that."
 
:floor: :floor: :floor:
 
:funn: I can't wait to use that one on some teacher friends.....:clap:
 
A teacher comes into her classroom and tells the class they're going to play a guessing game. She pulls something out of her desk drawer and puts it behind her back.

"I have something behind my back, and it's round and it's red. Who wants to guess what it is?"

Sally raises her hand and says, "It's an apple!"

"No," the teacher says, "It's a ball, but I like the way you think. Now I have something behind my back that's round and orange. What is it?"

Timmy raises his hand. "It's a ball!"

"No," says the teacher. "It's an orange, but I like the way you think. Now there's something behind my back that's yellow and has a curve in it."

Lucy calls out, "It's a banana!"

"No," says the teacher. "It's a squash, but I like the way you think."

Little Johnny asks, "Can I try to get the class to guess something?"

The teacher is apprehensive but decides that it won't hurt anything, so she agrees. Johnny comes to the front of the class and shoves his hand into his front pocket.

"There's something in my hand, and it's round, hard, and has a head on it."

The teacher leaps up from her chair and yells, "Johnny, you go to the principal's office RIGHT NOW!"

Johnny smiles and says, "It's a quarter. But I like the way you think."
 
:funn: :funn: :clap: Laughter is a grayt way to begin my day!!
 
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