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Memry- you will be proud of me. I'm heading outside to tidy up the yard a bit.

I am proud of you! Oh, and watch your mail: I sent you an article about landscaping from one of my magazines. What these people did to their yard is nothing short of amazing, and it made me think of all the possibilities your own yard has. Of course you'll probably look at it and say "One can only dream..." (Please don't shoot me if you do!)

I expect you to Radiohead when you get back on the computer. :lol:
 
Thanks Pea. OK BR- I am going to tart up the language theory a bit. Here is one for Happy Hour, entitled...

How to Introduce Your Boyfriend

:eek:

Will your family scare your LUBRICATED new boyfriend away? Chances are HOTBLOODED that they will, so you should take some PENDULOUS steps beforehand to ensure an ENGORGED meeting.

1. Encourage your guy to bring a G-SPOT for your mother. (This should guarantee a STEAMY first impression.)

2. If your family has any unusual TRAPEZES, warn your boyfriend ahead of time.

3. Tell your mother not to discuss your ex-ZIPPER and how devastated you were when he called off the ROCK CONCERT at the last CATSUIT.

4. Finally, don't panic. Your PERSONAL MASSAGER will still love you. (:floor: ) After all, he is not dating your CLEAVAGE, he is dating you. (And if he wishes he were dating your CLEAVAGE, then maybe you should be looking for a new BROTHEL.


^5

Things My Mom Always Said

by Mango


These are some of the ACRID phrases you might, unfortunately, remember hearing from your mother's BOSOM.

"Well if the other CHIA PETS jumped off the Brooklyn TROUSER TROUT, would you do it too?"

"Always wear INTOXICATING underwear in case you are in an accident."

"I never DRIPPED when I was your age."

"Turn on the LUG NUTS when you read- you'll go blind."

"Don't sit so close to the scavenger- you'll go blind."

"Don't use your BEAVER to wipe your face. Always have a clean ELEPHANT with you."

"Put on a warm ZOO- you'll catch cold."

I guess whn I am older, I'll impart the same ZESTY wisdom on my KISSES.

I just read this thread from start to finish and have been laughing so hard I knocked over a glass of wine, then fell off my chair laughing - my dog came running over like he's Lassie- and Timmy fell in the well! I was laughing so hard I SCARED MY DOG!:funn: :funn: :funn:
Which has made me laugh even harder! OMG - I GOTTA PEE!:floor:

PS. "Don't use your BEAVER to wipe your face."
 
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I just read this thread from start to finish and have been laughing so hard I knocked over a glass of wine, then fell off my chair laughing - my dog came running over like he's Lassie- and Timmy fell in the well! I was laughing so hard I SCARED MY DOG!:funn: :funn: :funn:
Which has made me laugh even harder! OMG - I GOTTA PEE!:floor:

PS. "Don't use your BEAVER to wipe your face."

:lolabove:
I'm pretty sure this is why I don't get any homework done.:funn:
 
Here we goooo...........

1. noun
2. adjective
3. plural noun
4. noun
5. plural noun
6. verb
7. adjective
8. adverb
9. part of the body
10.noun
11.plural noun
12. adjective
13. noun
 
1. noun -safari
2. adjective -sully
3. plural noun -knives
4. noun - lyric
5. plural noun - fingers
6. verb - hyperventilate
7. adjective - smarmy
8. adverb - lovely
9. part of the body -eyes
10.noun - snow
11.plural noun -deer
12. adjective - crunchy
13. noun - afternoon
 
Fortune Cookie

by iwishiwasthere

No matter what city you visit, there's bound to be a Chinatown, a Chinese restaurant, and, of course, Chinese fortune cookies, which might say:

1. A romantic SAFARI will add interest to your otherwise SULLY life.

2. You will inherit a large sum of KNIVES from a dear departed LYRIC.

3. You are admired by your fellow FINGERS for your ability to HYPERVENTILATE under SMARMY pressure.

4. Although thoughts weigh LOVELY on your EYES, you are never without a sense of SNOW.

5. You tackle difficult DEER with CRUNCHY skill and the confidence of a much older AFTERNOON.

:clap_1:
 
I am proud of you! Oh, and watch your mail: I sent you an article about landscaping from one of my magazines. What these people did to their yard is nothing short of amazing, and it made me think of all the possibilities your own yard has. Of course you'll probably look at it and say "One can only dream..." (Please don't shoot me if you do!)

I expect you to Radiohead when you get back on the computer. :lol:


You better not have mailed me any plants or teabags- I am under scrutiny by the US Postal Service you know.:shock:
 
1. noun- whipped cream
2. adjective - seductive
3. plural noun - mugglenuts
4. noun - salsa
5. plural noun -handcuffs
6. verb - beating
7. adjective - sonorous
8. adverb - rapidly
9. part of the body - neck
10.noun - leather
11.plural noun -straps
12. adjective - painful
13. noun - dungeon
:twisted: :biggrin:
 
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