Gender in the workplace/world

[scooterbug44]

Four years after that I got pregnant ... twice. The dean at that time told me, "We don't have to give you any maternity leave or benefits or ensure your job position" (even though I had tenure ). Both pregnancies ended in a miscarriage. I guess that dean was relieved that I lost those babies so that he didn't have to deal with the lawsuits that my husband and I would definitely have pursued if (a) I lost benefits, and (b) my career had been jeopardized.

Based on years of my mother's commentary on various tenured tools, I thought you had to basically be convicted of a felony before you lost tenure, not just get preggers! What a crock!

 

[seacrestkristi]

BeachRunner, that boss was a bully. Your story just goes to show what a major difference a good boss makes in a person's life and how much stress a bad, unethical, bullying boss can create in one's life. Sorry to hear about your babies, gull.
How many of you have felt the need to hide your pregnancy or just not mention the fact that you are, while job hunting in fear of not getting the job? I know honesty is the best policy but I confess I have not 'mentioned it' before in interviews.

 

[scooterbug44]

Sowal is so educational! Never even thought of that.

I would view someone who was knowingly pregnant and intentionally omitted that info during a job interview unfavorably - more so the further along they were. I completely understand WHY you wouldn't want to tell them, but hiring on for a new job that you'll only be able to work for a few months, then will be gone for months...........just doesn't seem fair to the employer and your fellow employees.

That thought aside, are they legally allowed to ask you about pregnancy during an interview even if you look like you're smuggling a basketball? Is it one of the taboo subjects? I know pregnancy discrimination isn't allowed under the law, but don't know the details and enforcement.

Are they allowed to have rules about how soon you can take maternity leave, like you have to work "x" days before you earn benefits like vacation or sick time?

Ha-ha - got part of my answer from Canoehead:

Legally, that information can't be used by the HR person anyway.
(it's amazing all the information that CANNOT be used in interviews)
I can pull out my sheet, but it's extensive. Almost any personal information about race, marital status, age, sexual orientation, etc. For example, I once had a woman tell me that she quit a job to take care of her kids and I couldn't put that on the form - had to put "family reasons" instead.
And then there was the guy that quit a job because "it was in a small town in Mississippi, and I'm really a 'big city f**'".
That was an interesting one - put on form "did not like location."

 

[seacrestkristi]

Why doesn't it seem fair? Are you saying because I moved to a new town and was 12 weeks pregnant I shouldn't get a job because it wouldn't be fair to fellow employees and the employer? How in the heck was I supposed to feed my other child and pay rent? Work was not really an option at that point in my life. I did show up and bust my ass until delivery, had 4 weeks off, then returned as a loyal employee as quickly as possible as requested. Like you mentioned it is a federal offense to discriminate against someone because they are pregnant but happens everyday. That's the reason you can't ask. Why should I volunteer? So you can discriminate? Glad it was so educational. It was for me too. Oh and that was terrible of that woman fror quitting her job to take care of her kids. What a slacker! Too bad you couldn't write that down. Such a shame.

 

[scooterbug44]

Good gravy! She wasn't criticizing the woman quitting her previous job to take care of her kids, she was just giving me examples of how strictly the law regulates what info you can and cannot use.

As far as my fairness comment, I was thinking that I immediately tell my boss of any future travel plans, terminally ill relatives, dr's appts etc. just out of professional courtesy. That's just for me missing a day or a week, so I'd certainly not be happy with someone not telling me about something that would take them out of commission for weeks or months - especially if the reason I was hiring them was because I needed extra help during that specific time period.

I'm viewing the scenario as specialized work in smaller offices with a limited and shallow employment pool rather than a large corporation with an easily temped job in a large market.

 

[seacrestkristi]

Either way, what does it matter. I only asked how many women have felt the need to not disclose in a job interview the fact that they were pregnant? Instead I get how "unfair" it is to my fellow employees. (You mean the ones hired after me taking 10 cigarette breaks a day on the clock in front of the workplace while I pick up their slack or the one consistently getting wake up , your late calls from the boss???) Why wouldn't you choose to stick up for your fellow sista instead of some imaginary employer? I just don't get It? And why in the world would you view a pregnant woman more unfavorably the further along she went in her pregnancy? People actually pick up on other's vibes and are affected by them physically and mentally, even an unborn child. Stress is deadly actually.
Think I'll go work in the yard for a while...

 

[scooterbug44]

I'm posting thoughts and questions because I want to hear other people's opinions and experiences, NOT advocating we start dragging pregnant women out of every business and making women pee on a stick as part of the interview process!

The reason I said I would view it less favorably the further advanced their pregnancy was simple math - the further along the pregnancy, the less time remaining before maternity leave.

Obviously I don't understand your perspective - probably because I am used to working in a family friendly business with other professionals, not the lazy ne-er do wells and baby haters you apparently had as coworkers & employers.

 

[seacrestkristi]

I never said nor implied that I worked with baby haters or all ne'er do wells, scooterbug. Please. ASSUME= ASS out of U and ME. I have only for you,scooterbug. Peace out, sowal sista. ;-)

 

[Beach Runner]

Based on years of my mother's commentary on various tenured tools, I thought you had to basically be convicted of a felony before you lost tenure, not just get preggers! What a crock!

He was an a$$. I knew I wouldn't lose my job (or I'd sue), but I needed to warn him since the previous pregnancy ended up with bedrest from 26 weeks on. We went to the same church. I thought he'd be happy I was pregnant because I had been told it was impossible, and instead he threatened me.

BeachRunner, that boss was a bully. Your story just goes to show what a major difference a good boss makes in a person's life and how much stress a bad, unethical, bullying boss can create in one's life. Sorry to hear about your babies, gull.
How many of you have felt the need to hide your pregnancy or just not mention the fact that you are, while job hunting in fear of not getting the job? I know honesty is the best policy but I confess I have not 'mentioned it' before in interviews.

I never could hide a pregnancy because it was such a miracle every time I got that way due to the abnormalities caused by my mom taking DES. I wanted THE WORLD to know!

 

[scooterbug44]

He was an a$$. I knew I wouldn't lose my job (or I'd sue), but I needed to warn him since the previous pregnancy ended up with bedrest from 26 weeks on. We went to the same church. I thought he'd be happy I was pregnant because I had been told it was impossible, and instead he threatened me.

I never could hide a pregnancy because it was such a miracle every time I got that way due to the abnormalities caused by my mom taking DES. I wanted THE WORLD to know!

He sounds quite a few steps beyond an arse! :angry:

I've never experienced it, but would imagine it would be SO hard to keep from telling EVERYONE you met until you reached 3 months (guideline I've heard as far as making it public)!