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hard transition
- Thread starter peapod1980
- Start date
seagrovelover
little sugar
Oh Pea, that must be hard on him and of course the family. My best friend works at a place here in Chesterfield....she loves it so much, she was born to give those special people the love and care that they need.....I pray that your father in law finds someone that special at the place he resides.
Smiling JOe
SoWal Expert
Peapod, I've been there and done that with Grandma JOe. It isn't easy, as we tend to feel guilty about not being able to care for our loved one anymore, but we shouldn't feel guilty. Grandma JOe lived to be 91, with the last 10 years of her life with Alzheimer's. It was really hard on me, not being recognized by my own Grandma. When she finally died, it was sad for me, but I realized that I lost my Grandma long ago.
Good luck with the transition. Know that you have plenty of friends to call on, when needed.
Good luck with the transition. Know that you have plenty of friends to call on, when needed.
peapod1980
percy
Oh, gttbm, I had no idea.I'm sorry to hear that Pea. My sister that is only 6 years older than me was placed in an Alzheimer's facility on Saturday. It is just so sad. I can't even let myself think about it.
I hope that the transition for your FIL and the rest of the family will be as painless as possible. I will keep you all in my thoughts and prayers.
I'm so sorry.Thanks, everyone, for your kind words.
Beach Runner
beats on hood
So sorry, pea.
I didn't have a clue about Alzheimer's until Mom got it. I just thought it was memory loss. Mom is getting worse by the week. We're having to keep her so medicated to keep down the extreme episodes of anger and emotion that she's a total zombie. At least she still knows who we are. We hired a nurse to stay with her at her home so we don't have to institutionalize her. But she gets angry at the caregiver, sometimes tries to hit her, frequently refuses to take her meds (says that the doctors are trying to poison her), slips out of the house and knocks on her neighbors' doors at 7 AM, has created scenes in public places resulting in the police having to be called, etc., not to mention giving out personal financial information and getting scammed.
Sister is flying out from Dallas this weekend to help us decide about Mom, as well as celebrate Mom's birthday. Looks like we're going to have to put Mom in a nursing home, as the doctor and her lawyer have recommended since last summer. Unfortunately she'll have to be locked up to keep her from disturbing others. Mom says that she'll kill herself if we put her in a nursing home. But she's been threatening suicide ever since we were children (as kids we were always afraid we'd come home from school and find her in a pool of blood). Mom is no longer "Mom." My brother and I were saying that we've already lost her. He says if she killed herself, she'd be better off. When the tornadoes came through Newnan twice a few weeks ago, he said he was praying that one would hit her house to take her out of her misery.
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kathydwells
Darlene is my middle name, not my nickname
I had to put my mother in a nursing home when she was only 64 for various reasons. She didn't have Alzheimers but a host of other problems. She was never a very happy person and she hated living by herself. She was miserable for most of her life. However, the last two years of her life while she was in the nursing home was the happiest I had ever seen her. She had all of her needs met, and people waiting on her hand and foot which she loved. So, I have to say that putting her in the nursing home was the best thing I could have done for her. At least I know that for 2 years of her life she was truly happy. I hope the best for all of you that have faced this, or are going to have to face it.
Sheila
SoWal Insider
Oh, gttbm, I had no idea.
Thanks, everyone, for your kind words.
It's OK pea. I feel like I hijacked your thread. It's was just so coincidental that it was the same weekend.
I feel for your family. You know in your mind that it's the right thing to do. But it sure is hard to get your heart into it. Once it's determined round the clock care is required, to assure their well being. The choice has been made for you.
I do wish you all the best. I know on some level, your FIL knows the decision was made out of love. It's really the best any of us can do.
Miss Kitty
Meow
I just read this thread and feeling so sad for all of you (pea, gttbm and BR). What I always hear in these situations is that the caregivers need attention as well. As hard as it is to move your loved ones into a home, remember that these facilities are equipped to deal with these behaviors. I thank God everyday that my daddy is still working and able to take care of himself.
Many of you might feel that what BR and her brother have said is harsh, but as a child of a mother who was ill for 4 years before her death, I can understand it completely. It is hard to lose your loved one before they finallly pass away.
Many of you might feel that what BR and her brother have said is harsh, but as a child of a mother who was ill for 4 years before her death, I can understand it completely. It is hard to lose your loved one before they finallly pass away.
kathydwells
Darlene is my middle name, not my nickname
I personally do not feel what they have said are harsh. My mother was miserable her entire life practically. I used to pray that God would take her so she would not suffer anymore, and could finally find peace. I know exactly where BR and her brother are coming from and I for one wish them peace and comfort dealing with their mother.
I thank God every day also that my my daddy at 76 is still active and healthy!!!!